Why do people leave yasmin

And so it was no wonder that the little girl in my dream, asked me this question. It was a question about loss, about disappointment. It was a question about being let down. A question about seeking something, and coming back empty handed. It was about what happens when you try to dig in concrete with your bare hands. Not only do you come back with nothing, you break your fingers in the process. And I learned this not by reading it, not by hearing it from a wise teacher.

I learned it by trying it again, and again, and again. Ultimately the question was about the nature of the dunya, as a place of fleeting moments and temporarily attachments. As a place where people are with you today and leave or die tomorrow. But this reality hurts our very being because it goes against our nature. We as human beings are made to seek love and strive for what is perfect and what is permanent.

And so we create ageless creams and cosmetics surgery in a desperate attempt to hold on. In a desperate attempt to mold this world, into what it is not and never be. It is because the definition of dunya as something temporary and imperfect, goes against everything we are made to yearn for. And we must also realize that nothing happens without a purpose, nothing. Not even broken hearts not even pain. Pain itself is a pointer to our attachments, that which makes us cry, that which causes us the most pain, is where our false attachments lie.

After years of falling into the same pattern of heartbreak and disappointment. I finally began to realize something profound. I had always thought that love of dunya meant being attached to material things, and I was not attached to material things. I was attached to people, I was attach to moments, I was attached to emotions. Looking back at the dream I had when I was 17, I wonder if that little girl was me. I wonder this because the answer that I gave her was a lesson I would need to spend the next painful years of my life learning.

You see, if my dependency is on the person, that means that that I need them to repay me. But if my focus is on Allah subhanaw taala, and my transaction is not with that person, but my transaction is with Allah subhanaw taala, then even if somebody is not good to me, I can continue to be good with them, because my reward and my transaction is not with them, my reward and my transaction is with Allah subhanaw taala.

And that is only possible when you're able to see things in this way where your ultimate dependency, and your ultimate source of fulfillment and happiness and reward. And this is key that your ultimate set, your ultimate reward isn't coming from the. You're not dependent on what you're getting from the person themselves. Your ultimate reward is coming from Allah subhanaw taala. And so your dependency is on his reward, and not on that person's reward.

And I mean, honestly, when you The closer you can come to this, the more you really become liberated because you no longer you're no longer go up and down, depending on how people are with you. You're not sad one moment when the people are, you know, people like me today people are nice to me today. So I'm happy, right? And then tomorrow, while they're not nice to me anymore, they don't like me anymore, or they or they hurt me or they do something to me, which.

Now I'm not on now. Now I'm down. So basically when you when you live in that way you give people the power to control you. You give people the power to control your happiness, your sadness and and and that's because you have made your dependency on them rather than Allah subhanaw taala so inshallah you know, if you if please do continue to write, we want to hear from you.

What are your thoughts? What are your questions? One of the things I want to go on and and explain is this, that nothing happens without a purpose. Never think that whatever pain you're going through whatever hardship you're going through whatever. They are warnings that something is wrong. They are warnings that we need to make a change. Just like the pain of being burned is the thing that warns us to remove our hand from the fire. Pain is a form of forced detachment.

If you think about it, like the loved one who hurts you again and again and again. The more this dunya hurts us, the more we inevitably detached from it, and the more we inevitably stop loving it.

And pain is also a pointer to our attachments. That thing that makes us cry. That thing which causes us the most pain is where our false attachments lie. And it's in those things which we are attached to, as we should only be attached to Allah Subhana Allah, which become the barriers on our path to Allah. But that pain itself is what makes us makes the false attachment evident. That pain creates a condition in our life that we seek to change. And if there's anything about our condition that we don't like, there is a divine formula to change it.

Allah subhanaw taala tells us in the Quran Verily, never. Will God change the condition of a people until they change what is within themselves. And this is chapter 13, verse So you'll notice that the fact that we keep getting disappointed by dunya is exactly what is making us detach from dunya.

So it's like, it's like you're holding on to something so hard, and it keeps on hurting you and hurting you and hurting until eventually you have to let go. And this is, this is a mercy of Allah subhanaw taala that he gives us that this dunya hurts us that this dunya causes us pain. The reason why this is a mercy is it pushes us towards Allah subhanaw taala it pushes us to stop loving this dunya and to stop putting our hope in this dunya and.

Now for me, after years of falling into the same pattern of disappointment and heartbreak, I finally began to realize something profound. See, I had always thought that the love of dunya meant being attached to material things. And I wasn't attached to material things. I was attached to people, I was attached to moments, I was attached to emotions. So I thought that love of dunya just did not apply to me.

What I didn't realize was that people, moments emotions are all part of dunya what I didn't realize is that all of the pain that I had experienced in my life was due to one thing and one thing only love of dunya. As soon as I began to have this realization, a veil was lifted from my eyes, I started to see what my problem was, I was expecting this life to be what it is not and was never meant to be perfect. And being the idealist that I am, I was struggling with every cell in my body to make it so it had to be perfect.

And I would not stop until it was I gave my blood, sweat and tears to this endeavor, making the dunya into Jenna. This meant expecting people around me to be perfect, expecting my relationships to be perfect, expecting so much from those around me. And from this life, expectations, expectations, expectations.

And if there's one recipe for unhappiness, it is that. But here is where my fatal mistake lies. My fatal mistake was that was not in having the expectations itself. As human beings, we really we should never lose hope. The problem was in where I was placing those expectations and that hope, at the end of the day, my hope and my expectations were not being placed in God, my hope and expectations were in people relationships means ultimately, my hope was in this dunya rather than rather than in Allah.

And so what I came to realize was a very deep truth. And a I began to cross my mind, okay, and I'm going to share this a inshallah. And then I'm going to ask you to go to the chat box. And then we're going to wrap this. But this area was it started to sort of cross through my mind.

And then I realized that this area was describing me and the area says chapter 10, verse seven, those who rest not their hope on their meeting with us, but are pleased and satisfied with the life of the present.

And those who heed not our signs. See by thinking that I can have everything here, my hope was not in my meeting with God, my hope was in dunya. But what does it mean to not place our hope in dunya?

And here I just want to give some practical, you know, some practical steps, and then shall go to your questions. How can this be avoided? What the way what it means to not put your hope in dunya means. When you get married. Don't expect your spouse to fulfill your every need. When you're an activist, don't put your hope in the results. And when you're in trouble, don't depend on yourself.

Don't depend on people depend on God. Only Allah subhanaw taala can do these things. People, places, events, photographs, moments—even outcomes became objects of strong attachment.

If things didn't work out the way I wanted or imagined they should, I was devastated. And disappointment for me wasn't an ordinary emotion. It was catastrophic. Once let down, I never fully recovered. I could never forget, and the break never mended. Like a glass vase that you place on the edge of a table, once broken, the pieces never quite fit again. However the problem wasn't with the vase, or even the vases kept breaking. The problem was that I kept putting them on the edge of tables.

Through my attachments, I was dependent on my relationships to fulfill my needs. I allowed those relationships to define my happiness or my sadness, my fulfillment or my emptiness, my security, and even my self-worth. And so, like the vase placed where it will inevitably fall, through those dependencies I set myself up for disappointment. I set myself up to be broken.

And that's exactly what I found: one disappointment, one break after another. Yet the people who broke me were not to be blame any more than gravity can be blamed for breaking the vase.

We can't blame the laws of physics when a twig snaps because we leaned on it for support. The twig was never created to carry us. Our weight was only meant to be carried by God. We are told in the Quran " And God hears and knows all things. There is a crucial lesson in this verse: that there is only one hand that never breaks.

There is only one place where we can lay our dependencies. There is only one relationship that should define our self-worth and only one source from which to seek our ultimate happiness, fulfillment, and security. That place is God.

However, this world is all about seeking those things everywhere else.